Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
