so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
