I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
