just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
