I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
