If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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