is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
