i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i drank out of a bidet.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
