Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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