Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
