omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
