I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
