There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
