im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
