I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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