and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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