this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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