Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
