broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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