youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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