Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
