OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
