You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
