No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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