They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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