Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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