why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
