I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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