I cockslap morals
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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