Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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