You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
