We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
