new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
