we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
