you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
