I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just made out with a guy for $7.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
