i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
