Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
