dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
