Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
