Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
