I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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