that's an acceptable place to lick
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
