oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
