He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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