I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
