Please, let me fuck your mom
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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