I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize