Pants 0. Shit 1.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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