Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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