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I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
