ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
