If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
