apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
