It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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