I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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