Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
