Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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