Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
