he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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