i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize