how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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