omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
