I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
